By Charles Barone, DFER Director of Federal Policy
I believe in unicorns.
Just so we’re clear, don’t take me for a pansy or a nut job. Though it may seem counterintuitive, I make this declaration out of sheer Machiavellian calculation. The ESEA debate has turned into a realm of fantasy fiction where one’s ability to prevail hinges on weaving a tapestry of cherry-picked truths and sugarcoated nostrums. As a pundit who likes fierce competition as much as the next guy, I share my claim of deep faith in America’s favorite chimera out of total self-interest. No one likes to be left behind.
Here are some of the fantastical creatures involved in the current ESEA debate:
NTEA Party: The big daddy chimera right now is the NEA-Tea Party hybrid. During one of NTEA’s many jubilant moments at the Senate mark-up, Politics K-12 tweeted: “GOP Senate aide spotted hugging NEA lobbyist Mary Kusler after the vote on the Alexander amendment giving flex to states on turnarounds,” a sighting later corroborated by none other than @NEAMedia, one of the organization’s (NEA’s, that is) Twitter accounts.
The Alexander amendment, for those of you not following the legislative minutia, was sheer bloodlust, through which turnaround requirements, after having already been hung and eviscerated in the underlying Harkin-Enzi base bill, were decapitated, drawn, and quartered. Judging from the overall debate, NTEA lives in a world where every local school board member, administrator, and mayor is an absolute genius, and an altruist to boot.
Accountability Chickenhawks: Forgive me, Sandy Kress. I love and admire your adherence to factual evidence, but Mike Petrilli is right when he says, “federal accountability hawks have lost this argument.” He’s also right when he says the federal government should have an education policy that’s “tight on results, and loose on means.” Is being an accountability hawk and being tight on results all that different? Isn’t being one without being the other about as likely as a horse with a spiraled golden horn and iridescent wings? Sure it is.